The View from Baltic Drive

The following was written and blogged by my good friend and sister in Christ and in Spirit, Charity. I am copying it word for word, because it describes exactly how I am feeling right now. I will pray for Charity, as I know that she prays for me. All four of us good friends from high school have felt much like this over the past months. I am grateful to God that he is turning me into a "big girl Christian" as Charity calls it. We are proud to be "church girls." Please pray for Charity, Sandy, Amanda and Stephanie as we strive to obey our Lord, love our husbands, and raise our children to be first generation Christians. Also pray for us as we depend on God for whatever comes next.

Wandering The Gap
I have found myself in a very odd place these past few months.I'm wandering around in what I like to call "The Gap". Sadly enough, this is not the retail store. This is the waiting place in life that God so often brings you to when He wants to build your faith.I don't like it here. I want to reject it. I'm positive if I had enough time to reason or more resources, I could get myself out of the gap. It's funny, because when I realize that I've been brought there (and it often hits me suddenly) I don't respond too calmly. My pulse starts to race and I begin to wander around in an inward panic until my frustration comes out in some form or another...Like a breakdown of tears or a misplaced argument with someone I care about it.You see, "The Gap" is that place between God's promises and His provision. I know His promises. They are a mere verse away from my knowledge but His provision...How and when He intends to solve my problem-that's a whole different story.

It is here in the gap that you can become a big girl Christian and not a first grader. The humbling may not be your decision but it can yield great results.If you let it.You have to be careful. It is in this gap that Satan tempts you to despair. He desires for you to accuse God that He is not working. I sensed that urging as I opened my mailbox yesterday and immediately whispered a prayer of defensiveness.God stays His hand for what is like a moment compared to eternity and I race to doubt. It seems so natural to wonder if God really cares for you in the gap. If His thoughts are towards you for good. That's the sad realization for me. I tell people nearly every day that God loves them and desires to bless them in obedience and the first visible road sign for the gap and I question His presence and intentions.It is in the gap that you find out who your true friends are. I mean that. Many may say they pray for you or send well wishes but it is those who are willing to come into the gap with you and grab ahold, that you discover a real sister or brother.I know who these people are because while I'm wandering they don't listen to me! I tell them to stay away and I attempt to detach...I become that hermit at my house (pacing and reasoning) and they barge in and drag me out. They call and call and drive me crazy and then they feed me a little cake until I look better to them.(Cake is very effective for Charity..Please feel free to send some!)They remind me of the promises I know and reassure me that they are there until God debuts His unique provision. We choose together to praise in the gap and be thankful for it.It's bittersweet...This gap I'm in. I'm so thankful I'm not alone.