My kids LOVE playing in the gym at the church after services. It often seems like an impossible task to pull them out of there to head home. Sometimes, my precious angels even whine and pitch a fit. Now, don't get me wrong, I haven't seen any kicking and screaming, but I know that sometimes they are throwing a tantrum on the inside. They have known their mom and dad long enough to know that a tantrum will never get them what they want. I am thankful that together we decided early on that bad behavior would not be tolerated. Don't get me wrong, this isn't because we were such wise parents. It was because we were both pretty selfish and proud. We mostly didn't want them to make us look bad! This is something that Brad and I would laugh about when we would hand out any parenting advise (usually only when asked, of course;). We would tell people that we wanted them to sleep good and behave, mostly because it made our lives so much easier. I am convinced that one of my girls (I won't name names) would still not sleep through the night if we hadn't practiced tough love early on. I guess it doesn't matter much right now, they are up late alot, and have taken to sleeping in my bed quite a bit! I can proudly say that they are both fast asleep in their very own beds right now. And boy am I grateful.
Anyway, what I was thinking about was throwing a tantrum with God. I read a book a few months ago that talked about being honest about how we were feeling with God, and really just showing Him how we really are. It makes sense really, because He can see our hearts anyway! I have been reading the Psalms alot lately, and I find encouragement, because David never minced words when he spoke with the Lord. What I always find encouraging, is by the end of the Psalm, David is praising God for his promises and believing Him for his future. This is where I feel like I live. I may spend a good portion of the day whining and crying and basically being a spoiled brat to God, but by the end of the day, I have been encouraged in my faith, and reminded of my blessing. I am reminded that I need to be grateful that I am standing on the firm foundation, the rock of Jesus. I don't have to make a miry pit my home. Each day there is a temptation to slide just inside the opening of my old pit. I think it is because for a brief time, the pit seems to shield us from the winds and the rain of life's storms. The problem is, that these pits don't have any sump pumps, and we end up standing in the dirty water anyway! At least up on that rock, maybe exposed to the elements a bit until we allow God to build us a house, the water drains away, and the sun comes out.
So I feel it is better to go ahead and be real with God, it may give Him a chance to reveal Himself in a whole new way. And I am learning not to be so afraid of the storms of life. God won't allow enough wind to knock me off the rock that my home is being built upon. Allowing God to strip idols, sin, unforgiveness, and all beseting sins out of your life hurts. There is no denying that. But what He rebuilds is such a beautiful thing. While I am becoming just a tad more eternally minded, I still believe that God has great joy for us right here on earth. I have read so many Bible passages that promise that.
I also hurt that not everyone seems to make it over the hurdle, to get to the point where our own wants and desires are painfully stipped away by walking in obedience, and allowing God to work. It is a decision that God requires us to make alone. He will gladly pull us out of the pit, but we have to reach our hands up and take hold. I have to have faith that He will work in those lives. It is tough to give up the desire to talk someone else into seeing the beauty that can come from ashes. I am still kicking and screaming a great deal with God over Proverbs 10:19. In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin, but he that refraineth his words is wise. So basically, He is saying "SHUT UP." God doesn't need my help, He wants my obedience, He wants me to pray. So pray for me as God deals with me in my desire to throw a tantrum and demand what I want when I want it.
1 comment:
having trouble commenting today. computer doesn't want to cooperate. anyway, you may get 3 of these. beautiful blog. good memories of Rich Mullins music, he's leading a choir in heaven, and writing the music that God loves. have a good day with the girlies. love Grammy
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