Philippians 1:6 "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you WILL perform it until the day of Jesus Christ"



Sunday, November 26, 2006

A very scary book!

I told my friend Charity that I was reading "Living Fearlessly" by Sheila Walsh. She said to me, which I take to be a complement, that she didn't think I was a fearful person. I agreed, but I still thought that there were many things I could get out of the book. The only problem is, that as I am reading it, I am finding things that maybe I should be afraid of! I am now into another chapter, and I am ready to give another quote. Sheila is writing about how her son, at 2 1/2 totally trusts her, and even if she put him in a scary situation, he still counted on her to help him. (Like a scary carnival ride). Sheila, who has many hurts from her childhood writes this "Christian (her son) feels no need at this point in his life to protect himself from me. I'm there for him. I'm his mommy...that's how I started off too. So why do we change? Adult choices can decimate children. The tragedies of life can pull the rug right out from under their safe trusting feet. Children don't understand death or divorce or parental absence or neglect. They think they must have contributed in some way to ruin this perfect picture of family. At a gut level, what they experience is that nothing is safe anymore. They can't count on anything being forever or being ultimately for their good."

OK, now I am a bit more afraid! I am not saying that I can't learn from this book, but it scares me to think about adult choices (which I can't always do anything about) decimating my children!

It gets worse, read this quote. "This emotional loss may be even harder than losing a parent to death. You have to live with the awareness that your dad or mom could have been with you and chose not to be. We all carry scars into the courts of heaven, and the yes we want to give to God carries a lot of reservations because of who we are and where we've been and what we believe at the very core of our lives. Can we really trust God's direction day by day when some of the paths we've already walked have been strewn with sorrows?"

Ok, I guess it is good that I am continuing to read, because I am going to assume that she is going to answer yes we can really trust God's direction, and tell me just how to go about doing that! I am trusting God that He is teaching and growing me in Him, and that this will ultimately prepare me for the tough job of parenting my girls through this, if this type of loss becomes long term or permanent. I am confident that God knows, God sees and God cares.

6 comments:

brittany said...

As I told you yesterday, GOD chose YOU and BRAD to be your babies' parents. HE knows that for some reason (reasons we don't always need to understand or get to understand) your children were/are going to go through this. GOD is not surprised. Remember, the bible says "ALL things work together for GOOD to those who love God and are called according to His purpose". The bible also says "Trust in the Lord w/ ALL of your heart (not some, not part, ALL) and lean not to your own understanding. In ALL thy ways (not some, not part, ALL) acknowledge HIM and HE will direct your paths." What an awesome promise he gives us. We don't have to worry about it. God will direct our paths if we're faithful to TRUST Him and let Him direct our paths. I'm fearful too, but I know that our GOD is omniscient (all knowing) and I am not. I'm trusting HIM that HE will do what's best for them, you, and my family too. I love you, San (and your girlies) and I know God will see you/us through this. Keep seeking truth.

Love you,
B (whew, I got windy!)

Sandy said...

thank Brit! We love you too!

Anonymous said...

I'm praying for you. "A bruised reed shall he not break, and the smoking flax shall he not quench" Isa. 42:3

Gretchen said...

San,

You have so the right posture. I cannot tell you what a blessing you are.

I feel like I haven't seen you in forever! See you tomorrow!

Gret

Anonymous said...

Your girls are going to be ok!!! They have so many people around them that are committed to loving them and building them up. I think that awareness is half the battle--when you know there is a potential for impact, you can prepare for it and respond proactively instead of reactively.

Psalm 9:10 Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Samantha

Anonymous said...

I hae gone back from May 2008 to read your blogs, and am blessed by your strong stand for God in spite of extraordinary sadness (my phrase for what we have been going thru). I am so proud of you and the girls for being faithful to Him. Love Mother