repost from 2006..Pain doesn't kill

I stole this blog post from myself...I wrote it almost 4 years ago. I was thinking about this book that I had read by Beth Moore. These quotes have stuck with me, and I have been thinking about them alot since Sully's death. I don't blog much anymore, Facebook makes communication soo easy that I get lazy about it. But sometimes, whether there are readers or not, I want to share what is going on in my life. As most of you know, our family has had a painful year so far. My sister's beautiful Sully went home to be Safe in the Arms on Jesus on January 11. We have been kind of shell shocked ever since. But I am thankful to say that God has been active and presently in charge of our lives and circumstances. I am so proud of my family, and how they have each reacted, held each other up, and pointed each other toward God. Especially my sister, she has dealt with this pain with such grace. These quotes from Beth Moore's book remind us that it is always good to have loved, even when we lose what we love.

Pain doesn't kill
I started reading "Feathers from My Nest" by Beth Moore. I love Beth Moore. I can always hear her southern accent speaking when I read her books, and it is soothing. I bought this book a few years ago when I attended a conference where she spoke. I am just starting it again, and I thought it would be a bit lighter that my last book. I guess not. I read this last night, when I was having a "painful moment." Thankfully, today hasn't been like that.

"I have learned that pain doesn't kill...I threw my hands over my heart and fought like a Trojan not to give way to it. God gently pulled my hands away and said, 'My child, go ahead and feel it. The pain will not kill you. It will be a reminder that you are very much alive, engaged, and that you loved with abandon. That was your primary assignment. Your present pain proved you did it.' It was at this moment God spoke a transforming truth into my life: The goal of life is not the absence of pain. It's the presence of glory. God's glory. And sometimes that comes most vividly with pain. Not only have I learned that pain doesn't kill; I have learned that I will never lose or be betrayed by the one thing with absolute power to destroy me-God Himself."

Christmas is coming!

What a year!  I sadly have little time for blogging.  What with working, chasing a walking running toddler around, and homeschooling two very active 5th graders.  I still check and participate in Facebook daily, though.  Reese has now had her first birthday.  It was a fun (large) celebration, and very bittersweet.  My very last baby is not much of a baby anymore!  The good news is that the big girls still love to cuddle with me and be babied, I am a very lucky mom!  James has finished his training for the Danville Police Department and is now out on his own.  He loves his job, and I couldn’t be happier for him.    My sister got a call in September to come and get a two day old (yes, TWO DAYS OLD) and we have been loving on him ever since.  She is doing great as a first time mom.  He is a foster child, but we love him as if he was born right into our family.  However, he IS a boy, and we don’t know anything about those!  We don’t know if God has in store for him to be in our family for a few months, a few years, or forever, but we are all loving him just the same (except maybe Reese, she could be a tad jealous…or just kind of rough)!

 

God has been wonderfully good to us.  I complain about soooo many little things, but I am truly thankful for all my blessings!  Here is our Christmas card 2010…

Time for a new post...Doubt vs faith

Since I haven't posted in 6 months..I think it is time! No cute kid pics right now..you can check out my facebook for that..my nearly 9 month old Reesie keeps me pretty busy, and blogging and sharing pics just hasn't been happening! This has been an eventful summer, and my Ladies Bible Study has been one of the high lights. Last week, we discussed what living with doubt about God's promises can do to your life. This week, we will be discussing the replacement for doubt, which is faith. We have been going through James McDonald's "Lord Change My Attitude." This has been a great book, and I am seeing gradual changes in my life along the way. I was very bothered by part of last week's chapter, and I openly shared with the group that I wasn't sure how I felt about what he was saying. It was clear to me that I didn't think I had a doubting problem..but I did.

I hate to be all over the place with this, but I have to back up a bit. Over 10 years ago, I was blessed with twins. Paige and Peyton were born very small and very early. However, they threatened throughout the pregnancy to be born too early for life, and then again too early for a normal life. God answered the fervent prayers for our family in a positive way. Now not everything went wonderful. They were in the hospital for 9 weeks, there were ups and downs, Paige was very sick and fragile for most of her first 2 months. But we brought them home, and they flourished! Even today, they are wonderful. We still have some physical and emotional scars, as well as a little asthma..but overall healthy (almost) 5th graders! They are a blessing to me and they are two of my best friends. I prayed..everybody prayed..and God gave me the desire of my heart.

When I was going through my divorce, I grew closer to God that ever before. I know that it isn't unusual to grow especially close to God during times of turmoil..that is probably the reason we HAVE turmoil! God took care of me..he took care of Paige and Peyton, but it didn't look at all like I expected it to. It has been hard to trust God, because I doubted that he wanted best for me, or for Paige and Peyton! But wait a minute..do I really know what is best for us? So arrogant, wanting to fix everything, make it peaceful for us all. While we as mothers wish to make things the easiest we can and what we think is best, that isn't necessarily what God has in mind for us. Earlier in the summer, our Bible study discussed thankfulness. I learned I need to be thankful for EVERY circumstance..not just the ones that seem to be a blessing. Nothing touches me (or my kids) without God's consent! So what does that say about worry in my life? I guess it is a waste of time.

I learned a verse this week that first thoroughly bothered me, because I didn't believe that God would protect me from harm.I wasn't sure if I could believe it..but then I read it again..
Isaiah 53:17 in NLT (try reading the whole chapter..click here to read it)
17 But in that coming day, no weapon turned against you will succeed. And everyone who tells lies in court will be brought to justice. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the LORD; their vindication will come from me. I, the LORD, have spoken

So...this morning (if you are still with me) I was cleaning blood off of the carpet in Reese's room (as many know, she has spit up blood in the past, did it most of Sunday, and unfortunately, has been doing it a bit today)...and I was listening to the radio in her room. A segment of encouragement for moms came on that was sponsored by Hearts at Home. They were speaking of worrying about our kids..I can't ever remember the examples, just the verses about how God knows the number of hairs on our heads. Not a new verse to me at all, but in that moment, when I was lost in thought, worrying about my daughter, wondering what to do next about her health issue, I stopped and realized that I needed to try a little more faith and alot less worry, and God has been growing me in this area..sometimes using a 2X4 to my head!

Reese has had a scope, appropriate lab work..and she is SOOO happy and active right now, so it is time to relax, pray about right choices for managing her health, and enjoy my children a little! (of course, we start homeschooling next week..so I will have all kinds of new reasons to worry.) Please pray for Reese and her health, Paige and Peyton as they start 5th grade, at home again with me, James as he continues in the training of his new job, and for me!

10th Birthday bash

Paige and Peyton celebrated almost 10 years since their birth with an ice skating party.  Skating is one of their favorite activities, so 9 of their friends joined us at the rink last Saturday night.  Aunt Jame caught everyone on camera!

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Reese…two months old!

Reese rolled over last night..twice!  She has failed to do it again today, despite lots of coaxing from her mother and sisters.  She did, however, pose for some pictures to mark her two months of life with us..these are unedited, but here are my favorites!

Meet Paige and Peyton’s sister!

Reese Madelynn Snyder was born at 9:51 am yesterday, Sunday, November 22.  I will post more about her birth later, but I am including some pictures!

 

check out two full albums of pictures!

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In Honor of my beautiful former preemies..

Fight For Preemies // Bloggers Unite

Fight For Preemies // Bloggers Unite

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38 weeks!

 

I will admit, I never thought I would post a 38 week picture. Right now, I sincerely hope I don't post one for 40! But I am confident that God would give grace for that too! I haven't been sleeping well. Last night I spent most of on the couch, and walking around the house. I had contractions for most of the night, they were every 3-6 minutes, but they weren't very strong all the time, and each one was less than a minute long. So hopefully I will get more rest tonight! I am still trying to homeschool the girls regularly up until the last possible minute. I need prayer to be a patient mom to my two fourth graders. They have been troopers, active troopers, but loving and understanding non-the-less. I have had huge support from all my family and my husband (even though HE slept all night..didn't even notice when I ran the shower at 2 am!)

Happy 37 weeks!

Paige and Peyton climbed into bed with me this morning and it wasn't long until I heard Paige say..."Happy 37 weeks!" Never thought I would hear that. I am now officially full term, and we are all very anxiously awaiting the time for JJ to decide to be born. Very grateful....and feeling very ready.

Halloween 2009

 

praying for Stellen

Baby Stellen is again very sick. Click here for the latest blog post.

36 weeks!

headed to the doctor tomorrow….

The past week in review….

 

The Body Walk

headed out to a Halloween birthday party

Steph 13 weeks, me almost 36..this angle was kind to me!

 

Betsy gave me a great shower!

pumpkin carving

finished pumpkins

Archie Andrews…and another Wimpy Kid

I loved to read as a child.  I read Nancy Drew, I read Trixie Beldon.  I read Judy Blume books.  I read pretty much every book in the Fairmount Public Library and the Jamaica Elementary Library.  But I had a special love for Archie Comic books.  My mom bought one for me at pretty much every grocery store we went to.  I can remember getting one at the Catlin Grocery store on a regular basis.  I somehow kept  a decent number of the books that I had bought for me as a child.  My dad gave me a tote a few years ago that I was astonished to find contained many of my Trixie Beldon’s, Nancy Drews, and my beloved Archie comics!  I know there were many more, but even a few dozen of these well worn, well loved books were a treasure!  I put them on the bookshelf that contained my other books about a year or so ago.  I believe that this is how my daughter discovered them. 

One of my daughters loves to draw, pain, create works of art.  This is about the only time she is sitting still!  Otherwise, she is moving around, playing, wiggling…and doesn’t care for reading one bit!  If I read to her, I swear she isn’t paying any attention, but her listening skills are surprisingly good, and she  has a good comprehension. She just dislikes, hates the reading herself!  This was a blow for me, because this child is very much like me.  I will protect her identity..lets just call her “Baby B.” 

Now, the other child.  From now on referred to as ‘Baby A” for no particular reason of course, is nothing like me (at least in looks and mannerisms.)   Baby A has soo many of her dad’s looks and interests that it is a huge surprise that she would be a comic book reader.  No offense intended, but her dad’s idea of a good read was an internet article on the latest Fighting Illini recruit!

But somehow, she likes to read..and I love it!  Of course, I can’t talk her into Trixie, or Nancy..or the really GREAT books, but she is totally addicted to Archie Comics.  Even I type, she is 2 feet from me, reading one of these books that is dated from the 1980’s!  These books are all over my house and in the car.  In fact, her sister has been known to hide them so that she will play with her in the car.  This child misses lots of family car conversation because she is soo engrossed in her reading, and often wants to read them aloud to me. 

Yesterday, we headed to Bismarck Grade school  book fair so that the girls could pick out books that their Nana (the librarian) could choose for them for Christmas.  We do this every year. Baby A chose “The Diary of the Wimpy Kid.”  Now, the book fair had 4 of these books, so she  bought the first one (her own money) and gave the names of the other 3 to Nana, who wrote them down.  Now, this child finished that book (all 217 pages of it) by this morning!  Last night, she was laughing out loud, and reading me sections of the book.  You have no idea how much joy I get from watching my children enjoy anything..but a book…I just LOVE it!  Of course, now we have to wait until Christmas to get the next few books…..

34 weeks

 

This isn't exactly the usual pregnancy update picture..but today IS 34 weeks!

It is definitely autumn..pumpkin time!

Lauren and Brookelyn are staying over tonight..so we decided it would be fun to decorate a pumpkin..like the big on that I carry around every day!  Apparently I have no shame, because I have included some pictures, as well as a link to the progression of pictures as they were taken..I am off to shower very soon!

http://picasaweb.google.com/setrn92/PumpkinBellyShots?authkey=Gv1sRgCILCtZbdmv3LTA#

 

Happy Birthday James

James took a vacation day to be off work on his birthday today.  We had dinner at home and my parents, sister and James’s mother came over.  So poor James ended up cooking his own birthday dinner!  Earlier in the day, we had taken the girls to the dentist, then hit Walmart to buy what we needed for dinner.  While we were there, Paige took the opportunity to purchase the wig you see in the picture below.  She wore it all evening.  She told us it “suits” her!  Too bad that girl has no personality!  Peyton showed Grandma Pat how to use the Wii Fit.  I am a nice daughter-in-law, so I didn’t take any pictures of that! 

 

Anyway, I was glad that James took the day so he could be here with us today.  He has been a huge blessing for as long as I have known him, but no more than in the past few months when he has pretty much done EVERYTHING around our house to keep it going.  I hope he had a good birthday, even if he claims he doesn’t want to celebrate birthdays anymore.

32 weeks..a few days late in posting

link to pregnancy progression pictures

These pictures are getting a bit embarrassing to post!  The bare

belly pic is NOT for the faint of heart, so you will have to scroll down a bit to see it!  Click next to the picture above for a link to the progression of pregnancy pics.  I have definitely gotten bigger..but so has JJ!  We had an ultrasound yesterday, and she weighed in at approx 4 pounds 3 ounces.  I am not posting any ultrasound pictures, because she wasn’t being cooperative!  I couldn’t call her shy, because she was totally willing to show her..girl parts (that is the 3rd time, so I am thinking she is REALLY a girl…sorry daddy :)  She is very low, head down and her face was pointed directly toward my back, so there was no opportunity to get any pictures of her face.  I was kind of sad, but relieved when the sonographer gave up…it was kind of hurting all that pushing around.  All the important stuff, like fluid levels and placenta looked really good.  It was a very positive appointment and my doctor is very happy with how the pregnancy is progressing.